What holds us back?

The-Love-Gardians

Regular readers of this site will recognise references to creating our own reality. For most people this is a massive stretch, but for many who stay with me here, perhaps less so. I wish I could say I live totally wedded to this idea, but there are many times I struggle with it. So I would like to explore why any of us would have a problem with manifesting the kind of life we could have only dreamed about. What follows presupposes we are powerful beyond measure and do indeed create everything in our lives.

  • Deserving.

How many times have you read about people who win large sums on the lottery and the net result is devastating. Of course for some it will be a miracle but maybe for the majority this good fortune can turn into a nightmare. Do you really think you deserve all the good things in life? And what really matters to you? Material abundance, good health, satisfying and rewarding work, exceptional relationships? How many of these can you truly manifest?

Most reading this will have heard of the law of attraction, and unfortunately in its early days the focus was on material things, and a good number may be disillusioned when the Ferrari didn’t show up.

It may be obvious that if we feel we don’t deserve a wonderful life we are placing a massive obstacle in the path of realisation.

And closely related to this is the idea that to have or acquire anything of real value we must work for it. Things should not come easy. It’s certainly very difficult to be physically fit without putting in the effort! It even could be argued that this is congruent with the whole idea of manifestation. To manifest requires work, requires effort and requires discipline.

  • Manipulation.

For me the most challenging. NLP is a tool that enables unscrupulous people to manipulate others. My almost exclusive use of NLP has been to help people, through psychotherapy. The idea that I could manipulate relationships for example leaves me feeling cold. However I’ve read enough lately to realise that we cannot manipulate anyone at a distance who doesn’t want to get closer or to enhance friendships without their agreement. We all have sovereign free will and will not embark on any path without wanting it. Despite knowing this, I’m still a little shaky.

  • Beliefs.

It’s all about beliefs. You’ve heard the classic quote from Henry Ford, “whether you believe you can or you can’t you’re right.” Our whole life experiences, whether or not we go the whole hog with creating our reality, are based on what we believe. You can include here socialisation, how much we have bought into a material view of the world and how much we subscribe to the mainstream view that most of us are just a bunch of “useless eaters.”

It is difficult to separate deserving and beliefs out because each influences the other, as does manipulation. And if we suffer any kind of serious emotional pain it will impact on the status quo.

  • Change.

Most of my life has been spent experiencing, learning and teaching some kind of personal change. There are times I just want to be me. Of course it begs the question who am I anyway? I also know from speaking to clients and friends that such is the power of the mainstream, of collective consciousness and these days, algorithms we have to pay attention to our own truths daily. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t read so much and watch inspiring speakers and teachers on the Internet. Clearly I am not in the majority, and these days am free from financial pressures. Even when I wasn’t and had to earn a living, my living was to teach personal development, personal change and healing.

Whilst no one’s life is easy (is it?), the path described here certainly isn’t. So we may be back to the basics of stick and carrot, pain and pleasure and even- God forbid- what’s in it for me just to kick-start it all. And for those of us who are dedicated to service, this is a personal act.

  • The massive, incredible incentive.

Whether or not your focus is on yourself, your friends and family or even humanity could you rest easily if you did nothing despite knowing that to pursue this path consciously can help everyone? And with all things there are shades of grey. Whilst it is possible to change in an instant (read again the passage on deserving), it may take time to move from a “programmed” mind-set to one which may seem incredible.

And I’ve just been watching Carolyn Myss on Gaia TV.  I’ve followed Carolyn for a long time and rate her very highly. The programme was about self-esteem, another major theme of these blog posts. She made a hugely significant point. Decades of personal development and awakening have contributed to the empowerment of many people. And with that empowerment comes responsibility and we (most certainly me!) have at times struggled to come to terms with our newfound perspective and heightened abilities. Just the realisation that you can lift someone up with a word and put them down with a word is very challenging. Of course it is more than true, language affects DNA.

  • The death of Woke?

I find it difficult these days when I meet my friends not have a conversation about the insanity that is Woke. The obsession with our biological space suits, what colour they are, what kind of bits are hanging off them, and the interminable search for new victims completely and utterly eclipses any discussion of character.

“I have a dream my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by content of their character.”

Martin Luther King

We should all stand up to this nonsense (thank you Laurence Fox and Douglas Murray) or at the very least satirise it (thank you Andrew Doyle).

Of course this captures the essence of this post. When we are all empowered and are all creating our own realities are there ones that dominate or are there nearly 8 billion realities? We might all be connected but we are unique, so there are 8 billion realities. And before the irresistible descent into madness in trying to track and understand all this, if your world is created with love, and is from love then the “consensus reality” will be something truly incredible. And I can let go completely of any more discussion of “Woke.”

We are richly blessed. Love to you all, Jack Stewart, January 31st, 2020.

Love Heals

Love HealsMaslowsHierarchyOfNeeds.svg_ This I know. And so do you. Out of the 40 healing “modalities” I have experienced, learned and taught over the past 30 years the one that stands out, the Healing Code, is based on it.

The Healing Code works because of the transformational power of unconditional love. Naturally there are many other modalities which work on the same principle. And of course we have endless testimonies from renowned spiritual teachers to the same end:

“A thought transfixed me; for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth-that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire.”

Dr Viktor Frankl

Few people have greater credentials for making such a statement than Dr Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz, Dachau and Thereseinstadt. If you haven’t read Man’s Search for Meaning let accessing a copy be the first thing you do after reading this post.

We can ask ourselves “What is love?” We can (I have, see To Love and Be Loved) explore the Greeks six different varieties of love and indulge ourselves in all kinds of analysis. Dr Gary Chapman (The Language of Love) talks about five love “languages” as ways to express love to those close to us. Whilst there is a verbal component to all of them, only one (Words of Affirmation) emphasises talk as opposed to the four others which are all actions.

It doesn’t take a Non-Terrestrial to realise that the world and all sentient beings are crying out for love. And as this post is about what you can do, as opposed to tackling the negative global forces of the matrix head-on, consider this:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Rumi

How many of us can honestly say that they love themselves? Rumi touches upon the barriers we all have when it comes to loving other people. And what is it about loving a higher power, an avatar, God, Source?

Loving another person in an intimate relationship runs the risk that it may all end in tears and for many people that risk is not one they are willing to take. What is it, apart from perhaps “failed” past relationships that has/have installed this “programme?”

The energy of love can be retained by water; plants thrive on it as do companion animals, and in truth all sentient beings.

“The mystery of human existence lies in not just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Some of you may remember or be familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. At the top of his pyramid lies the self-actualised being. See the diagram (top left) for more.

Maybe it is a goal for you to become self-actualised, or to educate or evolve your soul, or to serve or just have a happy and fulfilled life. Can you become self-actualised without having the “lower” needs met? Maslow suggests not. But we all know (include me) those of us who when in love can ignore the bottom two and have all the inspiration they need to propel them to the top. There is much discussion about the merits of Maslow’s theory so I will leave that with you to explore.

Wayne Dyer in his excellent book, I Can See Clearly Now, talks about our existential needs for challenge and nurture. In my worldview, I can take on just about any challenge if I am loved. And if I am loved I am nurtured. And taking on challenges leaves me open to “failure.” And that “failure” may be very painful. Love Heals.

Wasn’t the primary message of Jesus (and no doubt many other avatars about whom I must plead ignorance) that we should love each other? Most of you, if not all of you, will know how unforgiveness and resentment can ruin lives.

I’ll close this post with this rather telling story from chapter 41 of Wayne Dyer’s above book:

“During the course of our many counselling sessions together, Suzi Kaufman related that her young son Raun, previously diagnosed with infantile autism, was completely unreachable… Autism experts from all around the world declared: ‘It is incurable. He is unreachable. We don’t know why, and there is nothing that can be done.’

Suzi and husband Barry hired students and trained them in a method they created, essentially to surround Raun with unconditional love in a contained, safe environment. For 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for months on end, Raun was the recipient of continual loving responses.

In 1976 Barry went on to write a book called Son Rise, which detailed the entire process they developed and how they were ultimately able to see Raun come back to them and leave his diagnosis of ‘incurable’ behind.”

Many of you will have your own stories. Love Heals. Love is Action. It is a learned behaviour. It will change the world.

Any takers?

Namaste, Jack Stewart, 29 January 2020.

The Language of Love

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Or perhaps more specifically, The Five Love Languages.

“At the heart of mankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another.”

Gary Chapman

Apparently research suggests that the feeling of being “in love” lasts for an average of two years. Most of you know the feeling, euphoria, single focus, obsessiveness… Then the work begins. The title of a wonderful book I read many years ago captures this perfectly “After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.”

Maybe the work begins sooner than you think.

One of the fundamentals of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), irrespective of the primary focus of this post is Rapport. Except by coercive, manipulative means, the only way we can truly influence another is by being in rapport with them. Being in rapport with someone requires you to pay attention to how the other person communicates. Like everything in life, some people do this effortlessly and don’t require courses or textbooks. However it is almost certain they do this by having had exceptional role models, whether parents, siblings or teachers. Simply because we live in a world that emphasises difference, competition and these days, through the truly appalling identity politics nonsense, rapport has taken a backseat.

Politically we are probably miles apart, but I do admire Douglas Murray. I watched a video of him and Andrew Doyle in conversation about the contemporary plague of Wokeness. There was so much to admire, but the thing that truly resonated with me, and with the audience they were speaking to, was his comment about forgiveness. Social justice warriors, woke zealots and the misguided set off to destroy the careers of anyone guilty of even a “micro-aggression.”Aren’t we all capable of saying something which offends someone else? If we do that in a deliberate, hurtful and unacceptable way then bring on the condemnation. However the targets of the zealots don’t get away so easily. What Murray was saying is we are all capable of speaking “isms” unintentionally and if so can we not ever be forgiven? A voice of compassion and sanity.

It must be obvious therefore that waiting, poised for someone to “speak out of turn” is the antithesis of rapport. Back to the post.

Chapman’s book, which I would strongly recommend, is the result of his 20 years of experience as a marriage guidance counsellor. It is not a book just focused on marriage as I’ve already said; it is about relationships and ultimately how we get along with each other in this beautiful but testing world.

Chapman talks about the “love tank.” Our (emotional) love tank is filled by an intimate, but it may also be filled by our parents, our friends, companion animals and even audiences. It surely doesn’t need much of an explanation. If our parents love us and are able to show it our childhood will be mostly experienced with a full tank. We will also learn how to communicate with other people and probably be intuitively aware of Chapman’s five languages. When in a conscious relationship, each party will be served by the other filling their love tank. Again it doesn’t take a genius to realise when one or both of the parties have a low or empty love tank too often the relationship may be in peril. Of course again it may be obvious that we are not naturally aware (given the caveat previously referred to) of how our partner “speaks”. For the rest of the article I’m going to refer to intimate relationships but you can apply these principles to any kind of relationship, especially parenting.

It shouldn’t need saying but it surely does. Love is both a choice and an action. Before, during and after the euphoria even simple things like buying your partner flowers is a choice. Being unaware of their emotional needs is a choice. Persisting with your approach when it clearly isn’t working is also a choice.

If I had one reason for writing this post apart from wishing to promote a very useful and effective set of ideas, it is that for people to get on with each other. The introduction of insights and intelligence is often all it needs. Many of us, especially men, think we are all good drivers, good lovers and good conversationalists by default. There is not a single person on the planet, no-one, who is “naturally” good at everything. And to repeat those who do excel have often, mostly in fact, access to brilliant role models. Reflect on your own role models and avoid any condemnation as they were doing their best. I’ll steer clear of the temptation of doing a hit piece on the truly unimaginably appalling contemporary role models of popular culture. You know who I mean. You can’t escape them.

And again, before you roll your eyes in exasperation, all of us do make “wrong” choices. By applying the lessons from this post guarantees nothing except improved communications with others. However if you have a reasonable degree of compatibility and love each other enough, this is for you.

You will all know what it feels like to have a “full tank.” Or even a nearly full one. Cue the song The Wind Beneath My Wings.” Speaking personally, if I have that, I feel I could conquer the world. As I reflect on what is emerging in this piece a stark realisation has just popped up. How many people in this world are running on empty? If love is the greatest (healing) force in the universe, is the global epidemic of chronic illness any surprise? We human beings are incredibly resilient. We can run on empty for years, “topping ourselves up” with hyperactivity, distractions and maybe worst of all rationalisations that lives of quiet desperation (not mine guv) are OK. And maybe it is another reason why we may become desperate for someone to merely partly fill our love tank because that is all we deserve. Or we may just give up.

Chapman’s five languages:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality time
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

The first one, words of affirmation goes beyond saying “I love you.” It is about complimenting and acknowledging your partner for who they are (self-worth) and what they do (self-esteem). Value them verbally for their being in the world and being your partner. Value them for what they do.

Quality time should be obvious, and again it is more than a trip to the cinema. Included in the quality time must be quality conversations, quality communication and all kinds of intimacy.

Receiving gifts? Yes it includes the obvious, flowers, presents of all kinds, weekends away et cetera. The thoughtful amongst you will realise the gifts needn’t be expensive. And do I need to say it? Yes you do need to be grateful and graceful if your partner enjoys giving you gifts.

For some people, even the simplest act like washing dishes, hanging out washing or changing a nappy are welcome acts of service. And isn’t it easy to ignore or play down these apparently mundane tasks when it comes to the language of love?

I’m sure the last one, physical touch, requires the least comment. The only caveat here is that sexual intimacy may not be as significant or influential as hugs, holding hands or caressing.

If you want to go any deeper than I am doing here buy the book. We all have a primary love language and a secondary one. And many of us will “speak” our own preferences to our partners. In other words if we favour words of affirmation, that is the most likely way in which we will “speak” to our partner. Isn’t it obvious if our partner’s preference is for physical touch or any of the other three (quality time, receiving gifts or acts of service) then the chances are we will not be filling their love tank.

How do you discover your primary language? Reflect, consider how you respond or have responded to other people or- God forbid- ask them.

So, probably the third statement of the bl****** obvious, find out which love language (s) your partner favours and use it/them. And if they don’t know yours, the same applies.

The world needs rapport. You need to be in rapport with yourself, in rapport with others and in rapport with all positive unseen forces which operate on you.

One of the most significant things I have learned over many years is that there is far more we share with others than that which divides us. Oneness. And I have learned that behaviours in others which are mostly trivial but can be irritating or annoying are a million miles away from forgiveness and unconditional love.

It has been said 1000 times but it can never be said enough, love is all you need, and as my current exemplar is the poet Rumi, let him close this post:

“Love so needs to love that it will endure almost anything, even abuse, just to flicker for a moment. But the sky’s mouth is kind, its song will never hurt you, for I sing those words.”

Thank you David Miskimin for this recommendation. You walk your talk. Namaste. Jack Stewart, Monday, 20 January 2020. No music here, sing your own song!

P.S. Why the book picture above which isn’t Chapman’s? The late, lamented Stephen Levine is a master of this genre.

What will be your legacy, now?

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“Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Rumi

As I write this, part of me feels some kind of trepidation as I would like at least another 20 years here on the earth plane so talking about my legacy may be somewhat premature…. However my aspiration, something which informs and has informed my actions for a long time is captured in my favourite song, “Just Pass It On” by the late Joe Cocker. Listen to the complete song at the end. Here are some of the lyrics:

I’ll be praying,

I’ll be praying that the best will come your way.
And when it comes, that’s going to make my day.
I’ll be praying.

To say I’m completely selfless would be outrageous and untrue but few songs move me like this one. I know where the seed was sown; it was from my adoptive parents. They passed on so much to me, so it was only a matter of time before I followed their example. I am extremely fortunate and blessed to have met and spent my life with those who subscribe to this “paradigm.”

Examples of those who also subscribe to this are all around us. Despite the best efforts of the mainstream I strongly suspect a sizeable minority (the majority?) of the global population buys into this. Few things seem to move us more than heroic, selfless acts of courage and bravery. However such adrenaline rushes are not that common, what I’m talking about is the dedication of those who serve. Feel free to interpret the word “serve” anywhere you wish.

Yes there are many who get paid to serve but I have met and worked alongside enough people who would do it for nothing if they were financially secure enough to do so. Which leads me to another point. If everyone on the planet- it is affordable- were paid a living wage then passing it on would be the norm, it would be mainstream, it wouldn’t even be debated.

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all of your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new and a great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties, and talents come alive. And you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dream yourself to be.”

Rumi

Most “personal development” approaches strongly endorse the self-reliance and self-love ideals. When you consider the personal development industry is overwhelmingly American, this should not surprise you. But readers of my previous blogs will know this leaves me cold.

I can’t be certain of an old story, but I’m sure it referred to a group of Hopi Indian children who when asked an individual question refused to answer rather than appear “superior” to their peers. And we know there are many indigenous people around the world with a similar mind-set. And whither “We Are All One”?

Yesterday I watched the film Unsinkable, and very good it is too. Again the emphasis on the individual is paramount.

As my new life comes together, more and more, the direction I wish to go in is becoming increasingly clear. I would like to think my legacy will be encourage others “to let go of the barriers” to love. My specialism for the last 15 years has been healing. Love is the greatest healer. When we find the right person, we have to commit 100% to making it work. We cannot find ourselves on our own.

The motivation for being healed is relatively clear cut. We wish to let go of the pain and we don’t want to die. The motivation for seeking “the one” is fraught with difficulty. Jumping in with those who are clearly disastrous for us (though they may appear the opposite at the beginning) may help us learn and grow but they increase the possibility of “hardening our hearts.” And when the person who has the potential to complete us comes along, s/he may find the challenge of breaking down the barriers too much. Or they may not.

Perhaps this will be my legacy.

Love and blessings to you all, Namaste. Jack Stewart, Tuesday, 14 January 2020.

“If we could take every child on earth at the age of five and have them meditate for one hour a week on compassion, we could eliminate all violence on our planet in one generation.”

Dalai Lama.

 

Outside there is beauty

gilbertMost weeks I go for a swim, followed by 10 minutes in the steam room then afterwards vegetarian breakfast at my favourite local cafe, Henry’s. There I read the Daily Mail, one of two newspapers owner Faruq has for his customers.

Good sports coverage, the occasional article of which I approve, the usual right-wing tub thumping but mostly, as with all newspapers, doom, gloom and ugliness.

Many years ago I used to read Positive News, an excellent newspaper which is still going. The Big Issue does so much good work. I would recommend both of these yet I am less inclined to them these days because both have bought into the climate change scam. So have many of my friends but I treat them no differently regardless.

If you want natural beauty, come to Malvern. The hills are world-famous. Worcestershire, Herefordshire and Gloucestershire are all beautiful counties; not for nothing are all three known for the quality of their fruits and vegetables. If you want man-made beauty visit the cathedrals of the same counties. They are magnificent. I could list dozens of places which would make your heart sing but it is easier and quicker for you to visit tourist information sites.

However unless you are Swampy (remember him?) most of us spend time inside offices and factories and our homes. If we are abundant (everyone is capable of this, I hope to do justice to the subject in forthcoming posts) then those homes may contain beautiful works of art and furniture. Those of us who have pets may describe them as beautiful.

Are you a people watcher? Go on, admit you sometimes find it puzzling to see an apparent mismatch between couples. What do I mean? Surely it is obvious. One half of the relationship has “let themselves go” and the other hasn’t. In these days of the utterly ludicrous “woke” culture we can no longer comment on a person’s physical attractiveness. No one’s worth can ever be defined by how they look. No one should be treated differently because of how they “turned out” at birth or became impaired through a disease or an accident. To do so is anathema to me.

However in relationships how people appear is important. No amount of pan-sexuality, screaming diversity zealots or “fat is beautiful” advocates will ever change that. There are huge swathes of popular culture (fashion, dating, talent shows, music to name just a few) where wokeness has had no impact whatsoever. Nor will it. Love this (Ricky Gervais).

And despite where this article appears to be going it makes my heart sing to see apparently mismatched people deeply in love with each other. And that I make a judgement about other people should have no negative consequences for them. Almost all of the time it boils down to a mental observation. My recent reading of spiritual literature suggests making judgements is harmful for the one making the judgement. Poetic justice.

Whether you like it or not much of what is defined as beautiful is a social construct. Travel the world, look back into history and you will find the celebration of beauty is not universally the same. My last post on this subject, Inside I Am Beautiful, focused on the beauty we all possess inside.

I can sum what I’m trying to say here very simply. We need beauty. We need it like the air we breathe. And it doesn’t matter what the manufactured consensus is, it matters that however you personally define beauty forms a large part of your life.

I despair for those who are denied it. I’m convinced environments (I know) of concrete and steel, desolation and punctuated by ugliness are severely harmful to health and motivation. Simply because it is such an important thing for me I have lost count of the number of references to intimacy in my writings. Of course one can be intimate with the natural world, intimate with a higher power and intimate with a book. I can’t be bothered to specifically define intimacy, surely everyone reading this knows when they have it.

Intimacy is a relationship with a thing or person of beauty. That relationship may be informed by how the thing or person of beauty looks, feels, sounds or relates. Or tastes or smells.

Time spent being intimate with beauty is surely the basis of life. Again my recent spiritual reading suggests we are here on the earth plane to be joyful and playful. Who does not have their spirits raised when they see animals at play, children at play, anyone at play? You don’t need to read spiritual books to know this.

A lapsed fascination for me was Joseph Campbell’s mantra “follow your bliss.” Following your bliss will make you joyful.

Whilst I don’t need to say it, I’m going to anyway. Few things in this life are more beautiful than sharing in or being partly responsible for another’s joy.

Maybe I’m well on the way to describing the nemesis (love that word for some reason) of a life of quiet desperation. Beauty, intimacy, play, bliss, joy. Love fuels all these of course and when we are not energised what could be better than peace?

If life gives you love, joy and peace then I would suggest you are more than well on your way to heaven on earth. And the last piece of spiritual wisdom I wish to comment upon is the claim that we have to be complete within ourselves. That we can “self partner” our way along the rocky road.

Well my friends, dear readers, not for me. I’ve made this clear many times. My soul’s evolution accelerates when in conversation with someone I find beautiful. Intimate conversation is more than possible, indeed it may proliferate, with friends. There are aspects of intimacy (no, sigh, I don’t mean sexual) one cannot have with friends. There are aspects of intimacy one cannot have with oneself.

I didn’t come “down here” to make this journey alone. Sorry Eleanor your life isn’t for me.

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but it is also in the eye of the person who is beholden.

Love and blessings to you all, Jack Stewart, Thursday, 09 January 2020, a day of great significance.

Love was the Enemy (part two of Love is the Resistance)

Dont-be-satisfied-with-stories-how-400x600What gives us life on this planet? The sun. The sun has been demonised. The sun gives us cancer, “climate change”, and deserts. Bill Gates thinks we should block out the sun.

So, let us demonise the glue that holds us together, the substance of the universe, that which gives life, that which gives life meaning.

Without love there is nothing.

In the last post, Love is the Resistance, I listed seemingly endless ways in which life appears to give us a good kicking. I ended on the somewhat cryptic comment that from this moment onwards it needn’t be like that. It would be ridiculous to suggest that those who have had a somewhat loveless life can heal quicker than those who haven’t.

Or would it?

Over the years I have worked with some severely damaged people, and that damage is a polarising force. It can propel you towards wanting resolution and redemption so badly that the healer/therapist just has to find the right approach and the client does the rest. Equally, and I recall one person’s situation with great sadness, the damage can lead to a conclusion of total despair and disillusionment.

Cue the mantra. Anything can be healed, not everybody can be healed.

I suppose another way of looking at it, again simply because almost all revelations which serve humanity come from uniquely personal journeys, is what would life be like without love? Those of us for whatever reason have blocked love (or “hardened our hearts” to use Lorna Byrne’s profound phrase) where would we be in a totally loveless life? I think you all know the answer to that.

Love is essential as the air we breathe and our lack of it, to varying degrees, has impaired our lives. What can we do?

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” –Anatole France

We can start by loving another sentient being.

I’m hearing the words now inside my head: “What happens if I’m not loved in return?” The obvious presupposition in this question is that your choice of who to love is random and conditional. We are back surely to a “lucky” and chance-ridden existence. Just suppose you had it within you to find even an animal who would love you back and more significantly a person with whom you could have a conscious, game-free relationship?

What would you rather believe? Are you prepared to make the effort?

(In order to keep my sanity I have to satirise the latest outpouring from “woke” culture. I suppose as we move inexorably towards merging with machines then sex with a metal vessel to heat food is not beyond the bounds of possibility. So how many of us will be embarking on a “pansexual” adventure to discover the secret of a soulmate’s genitals? Maybe paradoxically the inclusion of this apparent insanity reinforces the message that love as referred to here is nothing to do with sex….)

I could go on forever repeating the messages from just about all my previous blog posts. You will be spared that. So in summary let me say this:

  • Everyone is capable of loving and being loved
  • “The energy frequency of pure love heals anything” (Dr Ben Johnson)
  • You are neither a prisoner of your genes nor of your beliefs. Both can be changed almost effortlessly, but let me repeat the old joke about the light bulb. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the bulb has to want to change.
  • You are powerful beyond belief (Diana)
  • Consciously (re) connect to a higher power
  • Put as much effort into making your life a masterpiece as you have into your work or career or all your projects
  • You are neither a victim or a patient, unless you have broken your leg…
  • Serve!
  • Take risks, follow your heart
  • Do what’s right; you know what is right!
  • Keep an open mind, be forever curious
  • Get help and support to release your past
  • Daily, weekly, regularly immerse yourself in beauty, positivity, knowledge and intimacy; let go of mainstream conditioning and negativity
  • Find appropriate role models, they abound

If you scroll back to most of my blog posts you will find references merely a click away.

I’ll leave you with this, love to you all and continue to have a wonderful New Year. If I can do it, you can do it, and therefore the world can do it. We are all one.

“Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.”

Rumi

Jack Stewart, eternally inspired, December 5th 2020.

Postscript.

“You have a gigantic pool of information and experience to draw upon (from your simultaneous, not past lives), but this will be utilised according to your present conscious beliefs“.

Jane Roberts, Chapter 19, Seth Speaks, The Nature of Personal Reality, 1994.

At least I had a good day today…

Hereford-King-StreetOne of my favourite cities is Hereford. It is not without fault, but it has a fabulous cathedral, some delightful quirky little shops, a number of rather good charity shops, wonderful riverside walks, a hugely impressive restaurant set in a church, and rather a good “vibe”.

When at a loose end, at the moment I have many, I get in the car and go there. On the way back is a lovely little market town called Ledbury which has a fabulous coffee shop in a hotel called the Feathers. A great place to read and do research, to say nothing of the excellent coffee and cakes.

Last night there was a story which I can’t seem to track, about a homeless man who became a police officer and is now tasked with relating to helping the homeless in a very creative way in the West Midlands. Inspirational. Driving to Hereford, listening to the radio I hear that in the City of Manchester, the mayor Andy Burnham has personally committed himself to eradicating rough sleeping. And huge strides are being made. Fabulous.

About a week ago I found a local vintage shop offering for sale an extravagant sheepskin coat. God knows how much it was when it was new, but it was affordable now. It isn’t easy to get coats that fit me because of my height. In other words they are mostly too short. It is substantial, heavy and even without me in it almost fills the passenger seat in my sports car. It’s so warm however that any part of my body that isn’t covered, i.e. my face, now feels cold when I wear it. It is not a coat to wear when the temperature is above 5°.

I’m wondering around Hereford, dipping in and out of the charity shops before a wonderful meal at All Saints. I’m sufficiently humble, but occasionally, exceedingly rarely, vain enough to pay attention to people looking at me. Sometimes I actually get annoyed, stupid though it may sound. It’s a bloke thing. It was definitely the coat. If you wish to remain anonymous avoid wearing anything resembling my sheepskin.

Of course, my awareness raised by Andy Burnham’s exploits, there are half a dozen homeless people dotted around the town centre. It is an obscenity. Rough sleeping in sub-zero temperatures kills people. We are an affluent society. No-one should be homeless. But what do we do? I would never criticise anyone for not giving to a homeless person asking for money. I certainly don’t give to everyone who begs, but I find it very difficult to walk past them. I remember reading in the Big Issue that the worst thing you can do is avoid eye contact, ignoring the person even if you don’t give them any money. So I make a point of at least making eye contact even though if I subsequently fail to give them anything it can make me feel like s***.

I’ve never been homeless, I have no conception what it is like to sit on the pavement looking up at people walking past, relying on their kindness to keep me sane. Yes, I’ve done the self-responsibility bit; they should pull themselves up with their own bootstraps et cetera, et cetera. I recall Princess Diana once saying that we should never condemn anyone for the state they are in. We know nothing of their situation.

So there I am lording it with my OTT sheepskin coat. A homeless man looks at me and says “What an amazing coat, you must be warm in that.” I was half drawn to him before he opened his mouth and in a nanosecond I just realised what it must have taken to appreciate a passer-by infinitely better off than him. Believe me I have engaged with and walked past enough rough sleepers to know the difference between a cynical ploy and sincerity. I scraped a £1 coin out of my wallet and gave it to him, telling him my coat was not fur but sheepskin, even though I could be accused of hypocrisy wearing an animal skin. To which he replied: “Well what about leather, that’s not like fur is it?”

Whilst his reassurance was welcome, I just felt a connection and a deep sadness for his plight. We wished each other a happy Christmas (I wonder what his will be like?) and parted smiling. I turned the corner and went into All Saints. After a delicious meal I reflected on what had just happened. I thought “I’m going to go back and give him £5, it’s the least I can do.” Just as I was about to leave a woman on the next table came over waving a £5 note and said to me: “I just found this under your table, I think it’s yours.” I had no way of being certain whether it was or whether it wasn’t, so I said to her: “I’m assuming it’s not yours-she confirmed it wasn’t- so I said I’m going to give it to a homeless person around the corner.” I’m pretty certain that contributed to making her day too.

So of course I went back to the homeless person, and gave him £10. I have no idea what it did for him but it gave me a high for hours.

My next venture was to go into the cathedral. Normally when I go into a cathedral the static of the world, the insanity that grips the planet, evaporates like steam. I am at peace with myself, even with those (which includes me) who preside over homelessness, and the world in general. But even being on the high from the homeless person, I just didn’t feel it, probably for the first time in my life. Very strange.

Not as strange as you might think, so when I sat down to reflect and “go inside” I felt an overwhelming emotional charge. Within 10 seconds I was connected, at peace and joyful. The elation of making a small, possibly insignificant difference to the homeless man returned.

What to make of all this? Well what I make of it is that my focus drops down from healing the world, to healing one person at a time. Handing out tenners to homeless people will not change the world, but it may begin to change their world.

I was not a fan of Andy Burnham when he ran for the Labour Party leadership, but these days I couldn’t give a damn who leads the Labour Party, the Conservative Party or the Lib Dem’s. And yet what he is now doing in Manchester should inspire us all.

A few hours on a cold December afternoon. A series of seemingly unconnected events. And my having an inner glow reminiscent of the old Ready Brek ad. of the 1970’s facilitated my largess and my connection. My connection to humanity. I have always had it, since childhood, but these days it has a meaning and resonance I have never previously experienced.

Life is bringing the most amazing people to me, again it always has, especially psychotherapy clients, but maybe I have finally found something else. A 20 minute conversation with a dear friend, an exceptional psychic and spiritual teacher last night confirmed everything I suspected.

I’m going to leave it there, suitably enigmatic and suitably ambiguous. I’m sure some of you can work it all out, bless you, but for those who can’t all will be revealed sometime next year.

And did I say you can have some or all of this too? The music may capture one reason for the plight of the homeless out there. Sending a vibe…

Jack Stewart, richly blessed and even more optimistic, 17 December 2019.

Helen of Troy

heart torus“The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us.”

Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

“The heart is the most powerful source of electromagnetic energy in the human body, producing the largest rhythmic electromagnetic field of any of the body’s organs. The heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain. This field, measured in the form of an electrocardiogram (ECG), can be detected anywhere on the surface of the body. Furthermore, the magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 100 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain and can be detected up to 3 feet away from the body, in all directions.”

Institute of Heart Math

The “modality” I mostly use as a psychotherapist, the Healing Code, is based on the principle that love (unconditional) heals everything. Love emanates from the heart. The field referred to above, the magnetic field, is detected by instruments. My knowledge of physics is limited. However I have asked almost every client in the last few years to “sense” their own heart energy field. You can see the shape of it, the “torus”, in the diagram above. The Institute of Heart Math is a gift to the world but by necessity to have credibility amongst the “scientific” community it has to abide by certain norms.

Given that the mainstream scientific view is still rooted in 17th-century Newtonian physics, the idea that thought travels faster than the speed of light, the concept of subtle energies and even quantum physics itself all lie on the periphery, the fringe. The brilliant Stuart Wilde coined the term “fringe dwellers”, for those who go beyond the vested interest of “normal.”

People visit therapists for healing. By definition they are hurting, usually emotionally and mentally, but often physically too. I can’t recall too many clients bouncing into my practice glowing with health and joy. Of course modesty prevents me from saying that most of them leave like that. Ahem.

Try this yourself. Your heart has an energy field. Get a sense of it. Feel it, see it or even capture a thought. Get an idea, a “fix” of its size and boundaries. The smallest size it will be is the actual size of your heart. The field may go beyond the heart to fill your body space, or fill the room you are in, or even the house or building.

If you were a visitor from another planet or galaxy you wouldn’t have to hang around long here listening to contemporary music to get the impression that love has its downside. The first and most obvious barrier to loving people in a general way is that at least you will be taken advantage of. Loving someone more deeply runs the risk of an ultimate betrayal or they will pass.

Of late I have been having fascinating conversations with a close friend who admits, despite having been married (and bringing up an incredible young man), and having had many relationships, to never having been in love. If I told you this man has faced death many times and epitomises the word “macho” you may begin to understand him. But none of us can be neatly squeezed into conceptual or theoretical boxes.

We all, yes all of us, follow unconscious patterns. We all “run on rails” living our lives in predictable ways. As we become aware of ourselves, of how reality is constructed and how the life of quiet desperation can be easily discarded the unconscious patterns become conscious and we can let them go. We also realise running on rails is massively restricting and takes us on a pre-programmed path. A path, were we not subjected to a lifetime of negative conditioning, none of us would ever choose.

If we love ourselves, when we love another we are giving our true selves, uncontaminated by doubt, negativity and all the ills of the matrix. Of course how many of us truly love ourselves?  You may rejoice in the knowledge that we can love and be loved without reaching the summit of unconditional love and acceptance of ourselves. We are-excepting those who are asleep-in a state of permanent evolution. Yet life deals us many blows.

“Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World and it will one day return there.”

Paulo Coelho

It should be apparent that emotional pain closes and restricts the heart. For those of you who tried the experiment of sensing your heart torus I’m on rather safe ground if I suggest that a restricted energy field goes with having been hurt. I have no “data” or God forbid “evidence” to back up my next statement. And I couldn’t care less. Most people go through life with a restricted heart energy field. If you read the closing quote by the exceptional Paolo Coelho you may understand where I am coming from.

We encounter other people. We love them in varying degrees. Our love for our children is obviously different in kind than our love for our partners, or our companion animals, or our siblings and relatives. And I forgot love for our parents. However there is one person we encounter perpetually and cannot get away from.

So, we have a spectrum of attitudes and experiences relating to love. We are always becoming, which is another way of saying we get glimpses of our true, angelic nature. I have seen God through the eyes of an animal. Seeing God/the Divine/Eternity is a gift those of us who have fallen in love may experience. Have you ever made eye contact with a stranger and felt embarrassed?

Yes, never daring to fall in love, keeping ourselves “buttoned up” and filling our lives with distractions are very effective ways of restricting our heart torus.

I have met a number of people in my life who are fuelled by adrenaline. Being an adrenaline junkie does not stop you from falling in love but I would wonder how much it helps. Doesn’t it ultimately boil down to trust, because who wants to spend their lives perpetually frozen or distracted?

When two hearts beat as one. Symbiosis, complementarity, compatibility. For a permanent lasting relationship these characteristics may be essential. However we are not here on the earth plane to be comfortable in a rut, therefore differences are the grit in the oyster that create the pearl.

And how is it that the life of quiet desperation pursued by so many, the unsatisfying relationships, the mundane and the mediocre abound? How is it that some people find their soul mate (s) seemingly without effort? How is it that some people suffer the most appalling betrayal, injustice and deep, traumatic loss only to find around the corner lies redemption?

I’ll let you into another not-so-secret secret. It begins before we incarnate. However we can massively influence, and change, our “soul’s contract.” This is not a consensus view. Trauma and betrayal can take years off our lives. Redemption can make even the deepest hurt a mere page in our personal history. And another facet of the secret. Love seeks us when we are ready as Paolo suggests. Maybe God (see my last post) only wants the best for us, and all we have to do is be open.

For those of us “ahead of the curve” we have both a blessing and an obligation. The blessing is unconditional love, maybe the obligation is to discover or be given someone who it will transform.

I’ve read many accounts of life on the other side. Spending three years listening to Princess Diana’s description of Heaven/Nosso Lar/Summerland/the Afterlife creates an indelible impression. Almost all of us have glimpses of what life can be like, here on the rather dense but beautiful earth plane. In 1975 Roxy Music sang “Love is the Drug.”

Surely completion is having a relationship, here and now, which allows you, because you allow yourself to dream, to experience the highs of Nosso Lar. And maybe, just maybe we need never experience utter despair again.

Your heart energy field? Want to expand it? Just let it expand. It has no limits, it is infinite, watch it go, you have no limits.

I think I’m right in saying that all drugs have side effects. We have touched upon love’s side-effects. Well if you can take a pill to relieve the symptoms of a cold, muscular pain or for that matter any unwanted condition then you are taking a risk. When the stakes are higher…

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer, the boy told the Alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering s worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with Eternity.”

Paulo Coelho, the Alchemist.

Feel free to experience my heart’s energy field; I once transmitted it in a controlled and scheduled way from the UK to a large gathering in Athens some years ago. Magical. Of course I was merely the spark that ignited the potential of the gathering. Είμαι ερωτευμένος-η μαζί σου ελένη.

Jack, 17/12/19.

 

Let go and let God (God says Yes)

pinkCan be a bit of a problem can’t it? You must have heard of the serenity prayer:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

The above forms part of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and has done since its inception. The longer version of the prayer talks about surrendering to God’s will…

Okay, we have a problem, a big one. Do we allow it to defeat us and render our lives at best to be of quiet desperation, at worst completely giving up? Or conversely do we throw ourselves either into distracted actions (work, TV, sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll) or do we take steps to create a new life for ourselves? Somewhere in the mix do we “let God” move in and let things happen? Or do we, mindful of Divine intervention as opposed to giving up, give the whole thing over to God?

Unless you are Richard Dawkins, who hasn’t turned to prayer?

What exactly constitutes handing (life) over to God? I’ve already dealt with the passive aspect; it certainly isn’t that. And surely, even letting God call the shots, we have to take deliberate actions ourselves?

And it is obvious to me, having experienced this many times and having talked to many others, being in what I would describe as an “allowing” state leaves the door open for amazing things to happen. What is the intention behind this? To be happy? How specific do we need to be? How about wanting to meet your soulmate? Experiencing abundance? Being healthy and pain-free? If your intention is to be happy and currently you are lacking a soulmate and abundance and possibly having health challenges then is this not sufficient? In other words, God knows what would make you happy.

If you trust God do you need to tell him or her that you want to be happy? By doing this, for example declaring “I want to be happy” implies you are not happy in the moment.

I’m afraid we have to address that old chestnut, self-worth and deserving. I know as this is written there will be people reading this whose self-worth could be lifted and who have some reservations about what they deserve. And you know we can only notice in others that which we have had or have within ourselves. I recall times when I had low self-worth and it almost brings me to tears to see it in others. If we have a permanent programme or filter that blocks or deletes praise, compliments, expressions of love and appreciation then we suffer.

It has to go!

How about-see Neale Donald Walsch-allowing God to reinforce your transient high self-esteem, and your deserving happiness and all that that implies. As many of you know the key here is to feel it, rather than merely think it. Act as if you already have what you want, your birthright. The more you do this, the less transient the state, the better you feel, and the more you radiate this out to others. In time you become an exemplar, a shining light in the world when all around us could increasingly become grey and dark.

I would go as far as to say it is your duty to do this. We are all One, we did NOT “come down here” to be suppressed and subjugated. Help is all around you. It is within you. And if you need someone to “kickstart” your journey back to self-appreciation then grab them and keep them close.

All roads lead to God. You are God. If saying that causes you problems, settle for the truth that you are not only connected to God, but you have within you a spark of the Divine. If you were to read many of my posts you would be forgiven for noticing this recurrent theme. If I were to adopt the methods of the mainstream media then-I’m not sure how-you would be getting this message 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year for life.

In closing I am unsure of any formula for giving things over to God. I suppose I will conclude by saying that you should give everything over to at first your higher self and then to your angelic self. You may know these as your heart-mind, occasionally your intuition and your true feelings. Or conversely anything but your ego and lower, conditioned self. And if you want to know when your conditioned self operates, switch on your television, listen to your radio, read your newspapers and worst of all-the latest incarnation of mind control-paying attention to those who label anything which deviates from the agenda as fake news.

Beam me up Scotty. The day that love is labelled as fake news cannot be far away.

I’m going to give that over to God with the greatest of pleasure.

για σένα ελένη. Pink roses and love to you all, Jack Stewart, Tuesday, 10 December 2019. Music? Just love the song.

Paradise Won

miceFacebook is another Marmite phenomenon. Many love it and find it addictive, and others hate it and avoid it at all costs.

For those of us who are “public figures” it is not easy to dismiss. And I personally have friends in many countries. So I grin and bear it. However the “dopamine hit” no longer works for me. If I post something up there and don’t get many likes, so what?

What intrigues me is how many of my friends have views which are the polar opposite of mine. And are often forcefully held. Been there, done it, got the T-shirt. We all have “friends” who are distant (geographically) and we have never met. Others may be closer physically, but are closer in terms of our affections.

I probably visit Facebook 2 to 3 times a week. I probably spend anything between two and 10 minutes on it. However I was faced with the realisation this morning that I couldn’t care less if close friends or people I value (almost all of you) love or hate Jeremy Corbyn. It matters not at all what your views are on Boris Johnson. Brexit or Remain? Not bothered. I may have a “friend” who is racist or homophobic, but I have no idea who they are. And I’m sure they don’t exist.

We will never extricate ourselves from the current planetary crisis by arguing at the margins. I have my own views on all these issues obviously and will admit to getting at least irritated, sometimes angry when people in the public eye knowingly tell lies. Which regretfully is a pandemic. Most people have been misled; the power of the media to convince people black is white and white is black has never diminished. And yet despite our living in a post-fact Society with “fact checkers” I wouldn’t trust to tell me the time, it still doesn’t change my view of those who I value.

We are all sparks of the Divine, we are all Divine. We are all angelic whether we realise it or not. Who we are is not defined by our socialised values and beliefs. Everyone has helped someone else. Before help was given the person was not regarded as undeserving because of any unspoken opinion on anything. Random acts of kindness and all that jazz. Pay it forward. Unconditional love. I’m trying.

And if you too are struggling to rise above the nightmare that had once threatened to overwhelm us, take some faith from my personal experiences and never give up.

It cannot be said too often we are all work in progress. And before anyone is poised to call me naive and simplistic let me say this. The primary global solution offered by those currently running the planet is war, violence and austerity in all its forms. If we have violence or anger within us it will always find a way out. The ultimate cliché and the ultimate truth. Love is all you need. I have no wish to spend my remaining years in this incarnation “fighting” all the wrongs in the world. I will never turn a blind eye to injustice and violence and hatred to any sentient being, but to repeat, love is all you need,

We are all richly blessed, thank you for reading this post. Any prizes for guessing the music?

Jack Stewart, Monday, 02 December 2019.

Thank you to one very special person. You know who you are.