What holds us back?


Regular readers of this site will recognise references to creating our own reality. For most people this is a massive stretch, but for many who stay with me here, perhaps less so. I wish I could say I live totally wedded to this idea, but there are many times I struggle with it. So I would like to explore why any of us would have a problem with manifesting the kind of life we could have only dreamed about. What follows presupposes we are powerful beyond measure and do indeed create everything in our lives.

  • Deserving.

How many times have you read about people who win large sums on the lottery and the net result is devastating. Of course for some it will be a miracle but maybe for the majority this good fortune can turn into a nightmare. Do you really think you deserve all the good things in life? And what really matters to you? Material abundance, good health, satisfying and rewarding work, exceptional relationships? How many of these can you truly manifest?

Most reading this will have heard of the law of attraction, and unfortunately in its early days the focus was on material things, and a good number may be disillusioned when the Ferrari didn’t show up.

It may be obvious that if we feel we don’t deserve a wonderful life we are placing a massive obstacle in the path of realisation.

And closely related to this is the idea that to have or acquire anything of real value we must work for it. Things should not come easy. It’s certainly very difficult to be physically fit without putting in the effort! It even could be argued that this is congruent with the whole idea of manifestation. To manifest requires work, requires effort and requires discipline.

  • Manipulation.

For me the most challenging. NLP is a tool that enables unscrupulous people to manipulate others. My almost exclusive use of NLP has been to help people, through psychotherapy. The idea that I could manipulate relationships for example leaves me feeling cold. However I’ve read enough lately to realise that we cannot manipulate anyone at a distance who doesn’t want to get closer or to enhance friendships without their agreement. We all have sovereign free will and will not embark on any path without wanting it. Despite knowing this, I’m still a little shaky.

  • Beliefs.

It’s all about beliefs. You’ve heard the classic quote from Henry Ford, “whether you believe you can or you can’t you’re right.” Our whole life experiences, whether or not we go the whole hog with creating our reality, are based on what we believe. You can include here socialisation, how much we have bought into a material view of the world and how much we subscribe to the mainstream view that most of us are just a bunch of “useless eaters.”

It is difficult to separate deserving and beliefs out because each influences the other, as does manipulation. And if we suffer any kind of serious emotional pain it will impact on the status quo.

  • Change.

Most of my life has been spent experiencing, learning and teaching some kind of personal change. There are times I just want to be me. Of course it begs the question who am I anyway? I also know from speaking to clients and friends that such is the power of the mainstream, of collective consciousness and these days, algorithms we have to pay attention to our own truths daily. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t read so much and watch inspiring speakers and teachers on the Internet. Clearly I am not in the majority, and these days am free from financial pressures. Even when I wasn’t and had to earn a living, my living was to teach personal development, personal change and healing.

Whilst no one’s life is easy (is it?), the path described here certainly isn’t. So we may be back to the basics of stick and carrot, pain and pleasure and even- God forbid- what’s in it for me just to kick-start it all. And for those of us who are dedicated to service, this is a personal act.

  • The massive, incredible incentive.

Whether or not your focus is on yourself, your friends and family or even humanity could you rest easily if you did nothing despite knowing that to pursue this path consciously can help everyone? And with all things there are shades of grey. Whilst it is possible to change in an instant (read again the passage on deserving), it may take time to move from a “programmed” mind-set to one which may seem incredible.

And I’ve just been watching Carolyn Myss on Gaia TV.  I’ve followed Carolyn for a long time and rate her very highly. The programme was about self-esteem, another major theme of these blog posts. She made a hugely significant point. Decades of personal development and awakening have contributed to the empowerment of many people. And with that empowerment comes responsibility and we (most certainly me!) have at times struggled to come to terms with our newfound perspective and heightened abilities. Just the realisation that you can lift someone up with a word and put them down with a word is very challenging. Of course it is more than true, language affects DNA.

  • The death of Woke?

I find it difficult these days when I meet my friends not have a conversation about the insanity that is Woke. The obsession with our biological space suits, what colour they are, what kind of bits are hanging off them, and the interminable search for new victims completely and utterly eclipses any discussion of character.

“I have a dream my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by content of their character.”

Martin Luther King

We should all stand up to this nonsense (thank you Laurence Fox and Douglas Murray) or at the very least satirise it (thank you Andrew Doyle).

Of course this captures the essence of this post. When we are all empowered and are all creating our own realities are there ones that dominate or are there nearly 8 billion realities? We might all be connected but we are unique, so there are 8 billion realities. And before the irresistible descent into madness in trying to track and understand all this, if your world is created with love, and is from love then the “consensus reality” will be something truly incredible. And I can let go completely of any more discussion of “Woke.”

We are richly blessed. Love to you all, Jack Stewart, January 31st, 2020.

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