We all want certainties in this life. We don’t want to die prematurely. We want to be free from illness, disability, poverty and despair. We want a partner who loves us unconditionally until the end of time. We dread abandonment and betrayal. We want to become the best we can be, we want to enjoy life, we want to experience the highs but pass on the lows even though we know it is impossible. So we might compromise on the highs expecting to get a better deal on the lows. Thank you God.
We are constantly exhorted to love ourselves, but we struggle. We don’t like aspects of our personality, our bodies aren’t perfect and we don’t always get it right. We all know people who love and appreciate us, but to allow ourselves to move towards greater self-acceptance brings with it serious doubts. As Marianne Williamson once said, it is our deepest fear that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Nailed it.
I used to work with professional Rugby League players many years ago. The Australian and New Zealand blokes had wonderful attitudes to life. Seriously well-adjusted and inspirational young men. From these countries came the idea of the Tall Poppy Syndrome:
“A social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers.”
How many times do we get up having been knocked down? And is it more difficult to get up the harder are the blows? And when we get up are we the same person? Are we more trusting, loving and willing to be vulnerable once more?
You want certainties? Well here are a few. You will die. You will suffer loss, betrayal, abandonment, grief, heartache and pain. Guaranteed. I recall spending a couple of hours listening to the truly wonderful and inspirational Irish spiritual teacher Lorna Byrne a few years ago. Her description of the most typical post trauma response was hardening of the heart.
One of my greatest privileges some 15 years ago was to work with male survivors of sexual abuse. I could have spent my life doing this had I got paid. These severely damaged people had lived in hell as teenagers in “children’s homes” and spent the next 20 to 30 years trying to live normal lives which required burying the memories. The opening of the Pandora’s box triggered by a national police investigation to prosecute the abusers led many of them to suicide. I know I genuinely helped those who came to me. It broke my heart when a young man who had been an apprentice footballer couldn’t even function sufficiently to respond to therapy. He did admit to experiencing flashbacks of his abuse every time he closed his eyes. Try that one for size.
Thank God only a relative few of us, yet one is one too many, have been through this. Having worked with clients suffering from the whole spectrum of human tragedies I found few things worse. Hence my use of the word privilege and the highs I got when clients let go of their personal Auschwitz and recovered. Respect.
So what about the rest of us? We fragile souls reeling under the impact of catastrophic life events? Stand by for a massive revelation. We all deal with it differently! The temporary hardening of the heart is almost inevitable. We default to who we are. And who are we anyway?
Let us begin with that which is irrefutable to all trapped in this five sensory “reality.” We have a conscious and subconscious mind. Who we are is effectively determined by the programmed subconscious mind. Becoming aware of our programming and intervening consciously allows us to change.
Up a gear. What happens when we die? I think I’ve covered this in just about every other blog post. We are consciousness, we are spiritual beings spending a few decades in a biological spacesuit. When consciousness departs the spacesuit decomposes. Once we have left the earth plane and we have processed the experience we can then move on to decide (in consultation with our soul group, oversoul and super soul-for another time) whether we come back here or go somewhere else.
Try this on. We are angelic beings, most of us looking at the world in 3-D, physical “reality.” When the scales fall from our eyes, we truly wake up and see everything through spiritual eyes then everything changes.
And to think I began this post talking about hopes and fears. And it’s about time we started to give substance to Marianne Williamson’s comments.
This world has the appearance of a very dark place. Every one of us is capable of finding light in the darkness even if it is just to go for a walk in nature. When we get glimpses, and the glimpses become more frequent and we actually adopt a perspective of “powerful beyond measure” then strap yourself in for the never-ending ride that can be this life.
How many of you have experienced “miracles”? You all have.
What are the ways in which we can give substance to glimpses of paradise? By 1) paying attention to accounts of (genuine) people who “channel” wisdom from the before, during and after life. And 2) assimilating insights and again wisdom from those who have Out Of Body and Near Death Experiences. After all is it not apparent that those who do this might discover a little more about our existence than those who eat processed garbage off a Mcplastic or cardboard plate? And then we have astrology. I love this quote:
“Now, there is a lot of scorn poured on astrology and the concept that the stars can predict what is going to happen to you in life. I will tell you that astrology in its purest form is absolutely correct, because the positioning of those outer bodies is a reflection of what is happening inside of you.”
The Spaces Between, p 111, by Michael Reccia.
Where is all this leading to? Where it always leads to. If we don’t like our lives, if we want more from the time we are here, if we want more from our relationships, our work and every aspect of our existence WE CAN CHANGE IT. Yes, how many more times does this have to be said? WE CAN CHANGE IT.
But if we don’t like ourselves, regard ourselves as undeserving and are happy to “muddle along” or channel everything into work or a career at the exclusion of our own happiness (because we don’t deserve it) then change is not for us. And for those of us with hardened hearts and an absolute dread of another episode then we will get by. We will cope.
However…in the same way I have had dozens of clients who come to me with low self-esteem and all the “ills” of an unfulfilled life, part of them knows-just like the survivors of sex abuse because our true selves, our divine spark cannot be extinguished-that they both want and deserve more. And as they get “more”, and start to question their rapidly becoming obsolete old image of themselves the floodgates may open.
Take it from someone who knows. I spent most of my life, believe it or not, thinking I was unlovable. I hid it exceptionally well. After all I’ve got too many qualifications, and am considered attractive (it still is very uncomfortable indulging in these kind of statements) and have trained, talked to and interacted with thousands of people. Of course it all comes from being adopted. The classic abandonment scenario. I concluded I was worthless, but my life path told me the opposite. Winning things, passing exams, turning organisations and people’s lives around, being “successful” and getting positive feedback for all of it. However in the same way as serious betrayal (had that too), you feel worthless again. You are deaf to compliments, you don’t hear it when someone says “I love you”, and sometimes compliments and praise make you squirm.
Pause for reflection. Isn’t this absolutely ridiculous? Think of the thousands if not millions of abandoned children all over the world in orphanages or institutions. Deprived of love and affection. My parents loved me, even though it was never obvious. They never once told me they did but part of me knew. That any of us should push back against being appreciated, being shown kindness and valued is an indication that something is seriously in need of attention.
We are nearly coming to the end of this wonderful exploration of a global pandemic. There are no “self-esteem shots” in sight. But hang on a minute, don’t we all truly crave love and affection? Yes we do even though we tell ourselves we don’t.
There is a cure for all this, as you would expect, and I think you know what it is. Love, expressed without an agenda, pure love, given freely and finally unconditional love-because that’s who we are-powers the universe. No one can ultimately resist. It may take thousands of years but no stone, nothing solid can remain untouched by the effect water has on it. Let this be your metaphor. Love always wins in the end. And guess what? The time from now to the end can be everything we have dreamed of but had once been too scared to admit it.
Embrace this life, celebrate this life, let go of the ludicrous and ridiculous barriers and step into your angelic persona. It is high time you did.
Do I need to say I love you all? I do just in case you have forgotten, especially those of you whose conditioned self can’t hear it. But whose true, angelic self sings in harmony. You are all angels.
Jack Stewart, Tuesday, 03 December 2019. As always, suitably inspired, previously suppressed.
Thanks go here to a recent client and someone else, a torch of light.