Following in the footsteps of Vanessa Graham…


I could offer you a dozen subtitles to this post. My “writing head” was in overdrive this morning as I walked up the “Goat’s Trail”, on the Malvern Hills. I’m moving away from writing merely to express (and in time overcome) troubling emotions and towards helpful, even therapeutic insights. What follows is how you can harness the qualities of patience, persistence and trust with the divine communication from spirit to liberate.

So many breakthroughs.

When we have suffered loss, everything we touch, see and hear (anchors) reminds us of that loss. For most people if the loss affects where they live, then home can be a living nightmare. Memories, places, people, activities even what we eat and drink can all trigger the journey back to despair.

17 years ago when I suffered a nervous breakdown following the death of my mother (it was an accumulation of events, my mother’s passing was the catalyst) four things conspired together to bring me out of it. To find out what the first three were you will have to read Only an Angel Will Do. The depression lasted 12 months and only after I had visited world-renowned medium Mavis Pitilla did communication from my mother in spirit snap me out of it. In my previous post, Glastonbury, I referred to my link (at last) with Vanessa in spirit. Here are some of the consequences:

  • not having to give myself permission to smile
  • appreciating humanity
  • slowly becoming (sorry folks, warts and all) my old self; my God, actually liking myself again!
  • looking back on the endless good times in my life with satisfaction
  • wanting to move forward, starting to value what lies ahead
  • feeling creative once more
  • being able to look at, listen to and consume (“eggy muffins”) what Vanessa (and even now Anne) and I loved
  • moving from tolerating and being fearful of my solitude to very occasionally (it’s still early days) liking it

I suspect this may be called raising my vibrations.

But there’s more, much more.

Perhaps Vanessa’s favourite leisure activity was walking the Malvern Hills. And for that reason I had been unable to do it for months. We used to joke about “The Goats Trail”. She had walked it hundreds of times and I got bored with it very quickly, probably because it was quite strenuous… I must have walked past 30 or 40 other walkers this morning and the majority shared a greeting with me. It was a delight to see groups of walkers, single walkers, mountain bikers, kids enjoying nature and dogs all revelling in nature’s playground.

My “handle” (God forbid) is healerjack. Any genuine medium will tell you that their first duty is to heal. Having spent 30+ years of my life with Anne in healing and spirit mode, only now am I realising the incredible liberating effect knowing your loved one is safe and happy in “Nosso Lar.” I feel as if I have been released from a psychic prison. It couldn’t be rushed, and I had to let go of my desperation. I had been advised to do certain things and I did them. For those who are still sceptical about communicating with a “world” of a scope, power and magnitude infinitely more than this one, if you are advised by a good medium then do something with that advice. The good medium can tell you all kinds of things but unless you act, you are wasting each other’s time. And even if the medium stresses the high probability of a future event, your free will, informed and mostly determined by your subconscious, is the deciding factor.

Driving back from Glastonbury yesterday I revisited the amazing work of epigeneticist Bruce Lipton. He reminded me of three reasons why we become ill. Firstly physical or emotional trauma. Secondly the ingestion of or exposure to toxicity. And thirdly, limiting beliefs most of which are stored out of awareness in our subconscious. Physical trauma, which may leave lasting damage, e.g. a broken leg, a twisted spine, an impairment of vision, are perhaps obvious signs of potential of future health issues. Personally I would include emotional trauma in the third category.

Next weekend I’m attending a course on Identity Constellations. This is a process my dear Greek friends value very highly. Only recently have I understood why. Every one of us has parents. We know if the dystopian future takes hold they will probably reside in a test tube. But for now they are flesh and blood! Families, especially during the formative (first seven) years are our primary source of function and dysfunction. If I were to reflect on issues brought to me by most of my clients over the years then nearly 100% had to do with the family. And by family I include husbands, wives, persecutors, victims and a whole range of people excluded through trauma.

I’m massively excited-I don’t excite easily-by the potential of learning this new “modality.” I’m now beginning to see early signs of the new healing modality Vanessa and I will be giving birth to. I can already sense how constellation work can be enhanced by what I already know and practice. I also know I myself need to heal a couple of remaining family issues. My family on the surface was me and my parents. At the very least it is my biological parents, my adoptive parents, my three wives and their families and myself. And if there is one thing driving me forward it is to gain insights into the dynamics of Vanessa’s and Anne’s family, anonymously, because I could never fully understand either. And to repeat what I’ve said many times elsewhere I do not fully attribute either woman’s “early demise” to childhood trauma.

I will pose a couple of questions to anyone reading this. Do you have at least one “family” (in the widest sense) member (who needn’t be a blood relative and may have even been someone who inflicted serious harm or loss ) who no one talks about, who has been “excluded” from your life? And secondly do you get any kind of sense that you have taken on the pain, shame, guilt or rejection of a parent or grandparent?

The plot thickens.

To conclude this rather intriguing post. Almost all of us don’t know what we don’t know. In other words our subconscious is a mystery to us. Secondly, even deeper, is the (cellular) memories that have been carried forward all along our ancestral line. And the beliefs we hold, informed by these two factors and shaped by our socialisation (family upbringing), do they serve us?

Yes I know that many of us get through this life without having to pay attention to all this. But if you are anything like me and want a life more than one of quiet desperation, distraction and unease, early demise and potential chronic illness then maybe, just maybe, there is some mileage in self-discovery.

If I were to close by saying, because enough people have been amazed by how I’ve been able to handle this, that you can survive and rise above events which have the potential to destroy you, look no further than the “higher side of life.”

Healing Jack, October 12, 2019.

P.S. The origins of this post’s title? Vanessa inspired me in so many ways. Our first walk together conjured up an image of her outpacing me, way ahead in the distance. Her genuinely loving persona is something I aspire to. One of my most ridiculous frustrations was that I dreamed I met her 40 years ago. And we had children. Had I done so I would not have had a life with my precious Anne. So, it was one or the other? Yet in a world of all possibility it could have been both without any “bleeding through” of one life into the other. Parallel lives, parallel universes. No, not celestial bigamy! I’ll probably have to wait until I check into Nosso Lar to find out the truth.

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