Is it me, or was it me?

artemis delphi

“Fatigue makes cowards of us all”

Every single person on the planet has his or her worldview, formed by their socialisation, their cellular memory, their past lives, influences from other dimensions and their future aspirations.

Socialisation, the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society). According to most social scientists, socialisation essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behaviour, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as of children.

Pause for a mini-rant. I put the word socialisation into my search engine which is set at UK English. 10 entries came up. The first two and the next five were spelt with a ‘z’. The third and the last two, correctly. In the grand scheme of things this is probably an irrelevance but as an avid observer of patterns and social trends, take it from me, in a few years time almost all “English” words will be spelt as they are listed in the Merriam Webster dictionary.

Back to the story.

Yesterday I came across a scenario when I was very tired, rather emotional and seriously affected by seeing someone I love in distress. I formed the wrong conclusions about the scenario which upset me deeply. Fortunately I kept my feelings to myself but shared them later with a couple of confidants. Needless to say I got the wrong end of the stick. Having realised this today I set about beating myself up. *

Cue the usual ragbag of conflicting emotions, 3-D and spiritual perspectives and my default way of handling similar situations. Where do we begin?

Let’s start with “being yourself.” I have addressed this issue many times. If yourself is a closed minded, biased, asleep or half awake and reactive self then I would suggest “yourself” is in need of an overhaul. So if we assume yourself is the opposite of this and is approaching your true (Divine) self then go for it. However would you, as your true self, misread any situation?

A lesson. No doubt in my mind that this was another lesson learned. Will it prevent me from jumping to conclusions in the future? It should, but no guarantees.

Forgiveness. In the end, no one except myself had to be forgiven. So in forgiving myself, the self-flagellation period was reduced to a minimum. Interestingly during the self-abusing phase (I was travelling on a motorbike on the motorway at 70 miles an hour at the time) looking at the clock revealed time had slowed down completely. Once I had let this thing go I remember being several motorway junctions nearer my goal and time had flown. As various agencies are talking about banning hands-free phones, because they are a distraction, it would surely make sense when we are all micro-chipped, to ask our controllers to send a signal to the chip which deletes any kind of serious distraction that might cause a lowering of self-esteem. Even better if the chip has an algorithm which does this automatically. However instant deletion of uncomfortable thoughts which help us learn and evolve will rapidly create unthinking automatons. Have I discovered something?

Warts and all. We are all one. This is a variation on the theme of being yourself. We all have a view of those close to us and a reasonable idea of how those people will react. So if someone reacts in a time-honoured fashion, because we are all one, then by acting in this way are we not providing lessons for those around us? I like this one because so many times have I judged a person for something they have done, which if I’m truthful not only have I done but probably will do in future, and later realised this person is merely a mirror of myself.

Practising the power of now. Eckhart Tolle is a gift to humanity. This quiet, unassuming, fascinating spiritual genius (who brushes off any such praise) has helped me tremendously lately. I’ve been watching many of his videos. Yes Eckhart we do live our lives almost always through memory and anticipation. Guilty as charged, despite decades of personal development. Clearly living in the moment, another way of describing being our true selves, would again prevent grasping the shitty end of the stick.

There you have it. Be yourself (true self) and live the moment. An oxymoron. Don’t you love using words not everybody understands? But oxymoron is a good word especially in these times of paradox, double meanings and newspeak. Failing to do this, being human, then learn the lesson, forgive yourself and move on.


The Catholic Church’s confession process has always intrigued me. You can act in truly appalling ways, remind yourself you are an original sinner, remind yourself you need an intermediary to talk to God and then the intermediary lets you off the hook (on God’s behalf) in the confession booth. So you spend your life aspiring to be “closer to Jesus”, but bumbling along as a truly flawed individual (because God says you are), in some cases committing heinous crimes and collecting your get out of jail free card as often as you need it. Variations of this garbage appear in other religions and it is yet another form of brainwashing. Another way of describing the great unwashed. Useless eaters, original sinners, the deserving/undeserving poor. Take your pick.

Was that a tangent or what? It wasn’t of course but a particular reflection on “being human”. I wonder what would happen if the mainstream, collective view, promoted daily, repeatedly by those who form “public opinion” was that we are magnificent sparks of the divine. If so, being human would not be an excuse but an aspiration.

Many years ago I recall reading a book- can’t tell you which one because I’ve read this in many books- in which was a kind of checklist for the aspiring awakened, complete person. Being human, but I have avoided the confession booth like the plague, probably because I’m not a Catholic, I have consciously taken steps in this incarnation to become a better person. There are probably few dissenters but I refer them to the “we are all one” paragraph above. However this checklist triggered a sharp intake of breath and the unspoken “not in this lifetime mate” but its contents stayed with me.

I now find myself in a very challenging situation. It is as if the divine force or imperative is acting on me to accelerate the realisation of my true self. It is a painful, challenging and at times desperate journey. I would never have chosen it voluntarily. To paraphrase many spiritual sages, but this one is from Princess Diana is channelled by my late wife Anne, “God never gives you more than you can handle.”

If any of this makes sense, and I sincerely hope it does, put your energies into getting into a place beyond thoughts. Because one of the greatest lessons I have learned, ever, is that almost all of our problems are created by thought.

Be good to close with a controversial statement. If we are Gods, more than sparks of the Divine, do we need to be grateful for our true nature? I’m big on gratitude and am sincerely grateful for the blessings in my life but if we are at our core, perfect, then is gratitude a necessary state of mind? If we live in the moment and just be then we have no need to be grateful. Surely.

Enjoy the rest of your life. Blessings to you all.

Jack Stewart, August 17, 2019.

*  A short visit to spirit last night hinted at the real reason for this scenario, so the ground was prepared for me to wake up already…

P.S. If it helps, gratitude is a rewarding step up from the rampant ego. The path is long but rather beautiful.

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